Guardian Angel

A novella.

PROLOGUE

And there was war in heaven:

Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels, and prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven.

And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which decieveth the whole world:

He was cast out into the Earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

Revelation 12:7-9

Life is Potato Salad

As the semi-colon is my favorite punctuation mark, so the metaphor is my favorite rhetorical trope; guess who has been visiting wikipedia? I believe similes are for the weak minded and terrorists. That not withstanding, life really is potato salad.

What's in your recipe?

My wife is the potato. OK now you know why I don't let her know about my blog. Still, she is the center of my life. She gives it meaning. Without her my life would simply be tartar sauce. She is the substance of my life.

My children and grandchildren? Why the pickles of course. They keep things interesting. Sometimes they are sweet and sometimes they are dill. They keep me guessing.

Aside number one: When it comes to making food more interesting I ask the sandwich chef at Subway to put the works on my "Veggie Delight" and include one single jalepeno pepper that I ask to be hidden while I avert my eyes. It always seems to catch me by surprise.

The mayonnaise are the people in my life. When they are good, my life is good. When they are bad, I feel ill. The war in Iraq is an example of bad mayonnaise. So is Rap Music and "Sugar Free" Chocolate Syrup.

Aside number two: I believe that it should be illegal to put "sugar free" chocolate syrup in the same shape and color of bottle as the "real" stuff. Some poor idiot suffering from having his emotional eating panic button pushed could sneak into the kitchen with the lights off, take a huge swig and find a rather kerosene tainted fluid instead of the life saving elixir he desired. Disclaimer--I neither confirm nor deny having had this experience.

The mustard is the gospel. It provides the yellow color that President Monson is so fond of and allows me to see things in that perspective. It gives me purpose and hope.

The onion is me. When I'm a good old Walla Walla Sweet (Vidalia for you south of the Mason Dixon Line) then my life is perfect. When I'm an ornery old rotten onion, translate as sinful, then my potato salad falls into a catagory somewhere between barely tolerable to fatal.

Aside number three: I've made a ton, literally, of potato salad as a hash house cook. I have never tasted any better than Shane's Rib Shack in Tallahassee Florida.

So be careful what you put into your potato salad. Your choices can make you smile or make you burp.

Everything tastes like Bacon

http://www.baconsalt.com/

This concept has opened my mind up to so many possibilities.

Why stop with Bacon?

Why not Pizza? Chocolate Mousse? Chicken VinDaLoo?

Why stop with food? Here's a new approach:

"Bacon Salt: Everything tastes better if it tastes like Sir Francis Bacon! A new taste sensation!"

Love Languages

I heartily encourage all to consider learning their love language. I enjoy John Lund's take on the subject. He poses 23 questions to learn about your love language and typically they are spot on. His book "Avoiding Emotional Divorce" contains the questions and is a winner.

Whether your relationships are sound or not this is good stuff. It will enhance those without difficulties, help those who are confused and save those in trouble.