Crime Fighter or Wacky Neighbor?

I want to be the Hero!

You can't!

Why not?

You're a dentist!

What?

You're a dentist.

Yeah, I got that but what does that have to do with anything?

What do you mean?

On TV. In the movies. I want to be a hero. I want to save the day. I want to appear out of nowhere with just the right moves, right words, right actions to defeat evil. It's never the dentist. The dentist is always the wacky neighbor. I want to be the hero.

But everyone hates you. You can't be the hero.

Everyone hates lawyers too. And I mean really hates lawyers. For example,

"You're in a room with Osama Bin Laden, Adolf Hitler and a Lawyer. You have a gun with only two bullets. What do you do?

You shoot the lawyer twice."

You don't hear dentist jokes like that! So if lawyers can be heros so can dentists.

But you do painful procedures. You can't be the hero.

Have you ever heard of a Barium-Air Driven Enema? How about a catheter? Physicians can be heros. Why not me?

You're too imposing. People feel pressure when they are around you. They're uncomfortable.

You mean like when a policeman pulls you over on the freeway or when the fireman stops traffic to stick a boot in your face to collect money for their favorite charity? Do you think the police would allow me to drive a great big truck to an intersection, put on the flashers and then walk up and down in traffic begging for money? They get to be heros.

Sorry. No chance. You will have to be there when we need you. Fix our pain. Remind us to do better. Be ignored. Fix our pain. Remind us again. Give us free stuff. Get paid most of the time. Make us feel better. Apologize for not being able to fix the things that we've neglected. Rescue us whenever we call and face our indignation whenever the insurance company decides to not fulfill their implied committments.

You mean I have to be like a dad.

Right. And no whining.

(Ok, you can whine to your wife but never to us)

Do I have to pick up my underwear?

Only on Mother's Day.

OK. I can be a Dad. Dad's are heroes.

At least on Father's Day.

Loved or Liked--The final analysis.

I will begin with an apology. This topic was far too poignant to be addressed in this format.

Next let me thank those who participated in comment and survey. Your insights were extraordinary and have resulted in much deep pondering in the quiet dark hours at home, in the mindless moments in the car as well as in the light of the temple. I see no conflict in any of the responses. You are all correct.

It was suggested we needed a new word to describe this feeling of love/like we have for our dear ones. It reminded me of the following scriptural dissertation describing how the meaning of love was distorted as it was changed from the Greek to English:

First consider the meaning of the word love in John 21: 15-17 (KJV); "So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest (agapao) thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love (phileo) thee. He saith unto him, feed my lambs. {16} He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest (agapao) thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love (phileo) thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. {17} He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest (phileo) thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest (phileo) thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love (phileo) thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep."
The original Greek work for love was inserted within the verses above. The Strong’s definition for agapao is to love in a social or moral sense (of the head). Phileo is a love for a friend or to have affection for someone (of the heart).
Why did Jesus use the word agapao in his question to Peter the first two times and phileo the last time? Why did Peter answer phileo all three times? Phileo carries the thought of action based on emotional or heart feelings for family or friends. The love Jesus expressed, which is the same as God’s, included a phileo love, but it was a higher type of love based on a true moral sense. Agapao is a love without a feeling of obligation. Jesus asked Peter to preach to the sheep (Israel) without requiring him to first love them.
Consider John 3: 16 (KJV), "For God so loved (agapao) the world, that He gave His only begotten son." Mankind, having fallen into sin (Romans 5: 12, 19) was disobedient and failed to love to do His will. The best that man could achieve was a phileo love for God. Yet, Christ’s love was
such as that it was fully obedient. (Romans 13: 10)
Additional usage of the word agapao is shown in the word love used in Matthew 5: 43-46. Also mankind’s love (phileo) was shown by the scribes in Luke 20: 46.
Finally consider love in Romans 12: 9, 10 (KJV), "Let love (agape, from the word agapao) be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. {10} Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love (philadelphia, fraternal or brotherly affection).
By reviewing the Greek word with its definition, a deeper and clearer understanding of the word love can be seen. To truly love God, we need to develop a higher level of love, an agape love.
(http://www.blessedbible.com/newsletters/ToKnowGod.pdf)

I love Diane. After 38 years I'm still discovering how.

Loved or Liked?

I know my wife loves me. I wonder if she likes me? I wonder if she likes me today? If I had the choice to be "loved" or to be "liked" I wonder what I would choose? What would I prefer to hear:
A. I love you but I don't like you.
B. I like you but I don't love you.

What would you want? Take the survey.

6 Quirks-Tag

1. The dislike the wearing of name tags.


This is a particularly egregious experience at seminars when the speaker looks down into the crowd and asks you a question by name. I really don't mind wearing a name tag to make it easier for people to remember my name in working situations like the temple (though I do get a kick out of watching the "head bob" when they check out your name whenever they start a conversation with you) however when I arrive at a seminar and there is a pretty young woman who is assisting people by writing their first names on the name tags in large bold letters I know what's coming. I usually change the spelling of my first name to XHPaul when I register. When she asks how it's pronounced I say "Paul" the X and H are not pronounced on this planet.
______________________________________

2. I love esoteric jokes.

Rene Descarte walks into a bar and orders a drink. When he's finished the bartender asks if he would like another. He replies, "I think not." and he disappears.

Why did the chicken cross the road? According to...

The Bible: And God said, "The Chicken shall cross the road." And they did so. And there was much rejoicing.
Albert Einstein: Did the Chicken cross the road or was the Road moved under the chicken?
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

The traffic on Meridian is really bad. People usually get across. Jewish ones get a star.
________________________________________

3. I use words like "egregious" and "esoteric".


And don't think that I don't spell-check on Google before I use them online. I may be a verbal snob but I'm not that confident.

________________________________________

4. I cringe when we get too wrapped up in the "what we do" or the "how we do it" instead of the "why we do it."

________________________________________

5. I like Barry Manilow music.

________________________________________

6. I want to wear kilts.

________________________________________

Tag-Alaska Diamonds, Oregomm, HoneyGram and Papa, POGM

Listen to this after you've listened to What a Mom Would Say.

What a Mom Would Say.....

My Dogs are Barking!

My dogs are barking is an old time expression for sore feet. I suffer from this condition everytime I begin a new exercise regimen. Last week I learned two really cool things. First, Neovita can help me avoid plantar fasciitis and second, I exercise too much!

What?

That can't be right!?!

Well...I discovered that the difference in exercise between the typical thin person and the typical overweight person in only 2000 extra steps per day. That is the equivalent of a 15 minute walk.

My problem is that when I exercise I try to do too much, get hurt, burned out, run out of time, get frustrated because I don't know how to keep the balance of my life together and still find the 80-90 minutes a day it takes to:

Decide to go to the Gym



Change my clothes



Drive to the Gym



Exercise (for 30 minutes according to my MD, 60 minutes according to my trainer)



Drive home



Shower



Get dressed.





Oh, the other factor is that I don't have to walk for 15 straight minutes. It can be one or two minutes at a time rather than the required 30 minutes of aerobic exercise recommended by people who are in the business of selling aerobic exercise machines or those influenced by those who sell aerobic exercise machines.





15 minutes will ramp up the metabolism sufficent to help me become thin.





I'm now using the stairs in the temple instead of the escalator.





I'll let you know how it works in a year.

Warning: The following is a joke

On my way to work today I saw two guys trying to wrestle a purse away from an old lady. She was fighting them off pretty well so I hesitated to help, but after a bit decided to lend a hand. Sure enough, about five minutes later we were able to get the purse away from her.

Thank you Prairie Home Companion

Most of the jokes are stolen blatantly from

A Prairie Home Companion
Pretty Good Joke Book

with an introduction by Garrison Keillor

What.....

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?


Same middle names.

_______________________________

What's Irish and sits outside?


Patio Furniture.

_______________________________

What does a one legged ballerina wear?

A one-one.

_______________________________

What did the mommy buffalo say to her little boy when he went off to school?

Bison.

Taylor Marie Sheffer

Emily and pitocin

Emily and Shanhon are at Good Sam with a Pitocin drip. She was 3cm last night and they called her in today for induction. As of Noon she was still breezing through the contractions.

Update via cell phone: As of 2:30pm she is pushing.

Update via cell phone: Oops. As of 2:30pm Taylor was born. 8.5lbs. .

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. After finishing the sandwich he pulls out a gun, shoots the waiter and heads for the door. The bartender calls out, "Hey you can't just eat your sandwich, shoot the waiter and walk out without paying!"

"Sure I can," says the Panda, "I'm a Panda. Look it up."

So the bartender pulls out his dictionary and looks up Panda. It reads:

Panda: a marsulpial characterized with black and white markings; eats shoots and leaves.